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<rss xmlns:itunes="http://www.itunes.com/dtds/podcast-1.0.dtd" xmlns:googleplay="http://www.google.com/schemas/play-podcasts/1.0" xmlns:content="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/content/" xmlns:atom="http://www.w3.org/2005/Atom" xmlns:spotify="http://www.spotify.com/ns/rss" xmlns:psc="http://podlove.org/simple-chapters/" xmlns:media="https://search.yahoo.com/mrss/" xmlns:podcastindex="https://podcastindex.org/namespace/1.0" xmlns:podlove="http://podlove.org/simple-chapters/" xmlns:podcast="https://podcastindex.org/namespace/1.0" version="2.0"><channel><title>The Courage to Reconnect</title><link>https://www.couragepod.com/?ref=rss</link><atom:link href="https://feeds.oyku.media/a1d78e93-3a2e-4a92-8b01-a9f7596ff60f" rel="self" type="application/rss+xml"/><itunes:subtitle>A show about disconnection, relationships, healing, and finding the courage to reconnect and return to yourself.</itunes:subtitle><description>Hosted by therapist, coach, and author Sarah Monares, this show explores the patterns that keep us stuck in anxiety, people-pleasing, codependency, self-doubt, conflict avoidance, and unhealthy relationship dynamics.

Through honest conversations, personal stories, expert insights, and real-life experiences, we explore what happens when we disconnect from ourselves to stay connected to others, and how to break those patterns so we can experience deeper, healthier, more authentic relationships.

Whether you’re navigating relationship struggles, healing old wounds, learning to trust yourself, or trying to understand why you keep repeating the same patterns, you’re not alone here.

Because real connection starts with reconnecting to yourself. And when you find the courage to reconnect, it changes not only your relationship with yourself, but also the relationships that matter most.

An international co-production of the United States and Portugal produced by Loudspeaker Studios. Learn more at https://www.loudspeaker.org.</description><itunes:summary>Hosted by therapist, coach, and author Sarah Monares, this show explores the patterns that keep us stuck in anxiety, people-pleasing, codependency, self-doubt, conflict avoidance, and unhealthy relationship dynamics.

Through honest conversations, personal stories, expert insights, and real-life experiences, we explore what happens when we disconnect from ourselves to stay connected to others, and how to break those patterns so we can experience deeper, healthier, more authentic relationships.

Whether you’re navigating relationship struggles, healing old wounds, learning to trust yourself, or trying to understand why you keep repeating the same patterns, you’re not alone here.

Because real connection starts with reconnecting to yourself. And when you find the courage to reconnect, it changes not only your relationship with yourself, but also the relationships that matter most.

An international co-production of the United States and Portugal produced by Loudspeaker Studios. Learn more at https://www.loudspeaker.org.</itunes:summary><language>en</language><spotify:countryOfOrigin>en</spotify:countryOfOrigin><copyright>© 2026 Sarah Monares and Loudspeaker Studios</copyright><webMaster>hello@loudspeaker.org (Sarah Monares and Loudspeaker Studios)</webMaster><generator>Oyku</generator><dc:creator xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/">Sarah Monares and Loudspeaker Studios</dc:creator><itunes:author>Sarah Monares and Loudspeaker Studios</itunes:author><itunes:owner><itunes:name>Sarah Monares and Loudspeaker Studios</itunes:name><itunes:email>hello@loudspeaker.org</itunes:email></itunes:owner><googleplay:author>Sarah Monares and Loudspeaker Studios</googleplay:author><googleplay:email>hello@loudspeaker.org</googleplay:email><podcast:locked>yes</podcast:locked><podcast:funding>https://my.loudspeaker.org/?ref=the-courage-to-reconnect</podcast:funding><podcast:location rel="creator" geo="geo:40.5479594,-105.0790038" osm="112524" country="US">Fort Collins, CO, USA</podcast:location><podcast:medium>podcast</podcast:medium><itunes:type>episodic</itunes:type><image><url>https://cdn.oyku.media/assets/1406/Courage-to-Reconnect-Pod.jpg</url><title>The Courage to Reconnect</title><link>https://www.couragepod.com/?ref=rss</link></image><itunes:image href="https://cdn.oyku.media/assets/1406/Courage-to-Reconnect-Pod.jpg"/><googleplay:image href="https://cdn.oyku.media/assets/1406/Courage-to-Reconnect-Pod.jpg"/><itunes:explicit>no</itunes:explicit><googleplay:explicit>no</googleplay:explicit><category>Health &amp;amp; Fitness</category><itunes:category text="Health &amp;amp; Fitness"><itunes:category text="Mental Health"/></itunes:category><category>Health &amp;amp; Fitness</category><itunes:category text="Health &amp;amp; Fitness"/><lastBuildDate>Wed, 28 Oct 2026 04:00:41 -0600</lastBuildDate><pubDate>Wed, 28 Oct 2026 04:00:41 -0600</pubDate><podcast:person role="host" href="https://www.loudspeaker.org/people/sarah-monares" img="https://cdn.oyku.media/assets/1393/Sarah_Monares.jpg">Sarah Monares</podcast:person><item><title>S1 E15: How Self-Disconnection Impacts Your Relationships</title><itunes:title>How Self-Disconnection Impacts Your Relationships</itunes:title><itunes:summary>What happens to your relationships when you’ve learned to disconnect from yourself in order to keep them?</itunes:summary><description>What happens to your relationships when you’ve learned to disconnect from yourself in order to keep them?</description><content:encoded><![CDATA[What happens to your relationships when you’ve learned to disconnect from yourself in order to keep them?

In this episode of The Courage to Reconnect, Sarah explores how outsourcing your worth, self-abandonment, fear, and control affect the way you show up with the people you love.

You’ll hear why we can become so focused on another person’s moods, approval, or behavior that we lose access to what we feel, need, and want ourselves. Sarah also talks about the difference between healthy compromise and disappearing in a relationship, why resentment can be important information, and how fear can cause us to respond to the version of someone our fear has created instead of the person actually in front of us.

And when it comes to intimacy, being loved isn’t enough if the person you love doesn’t actually know you.

The question at the center of this episode is:

Am I loving this person, or am I losing myself trying to keep them?

In this episode, we explore how you can love someone deeply and still belong to yourself.

https://couragepod.com
The Disconnection Loop Workbook: https://sarahmonares.com/workbook

Disclaimer: This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for therapy, mental health treatment, diagnosis, or individualized professional advice. Listening to or interacting with this content does not create a therapeutic relationship with Sarah Monares. If you need mental health support, please reach out to a qualified professional in your area or visit https://findahelpline.com/.
 Connect with Sarah Monares:
https://sarahmonares.com
https://www.instagram.com/sarah_monares

If this episode resonated with you, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone who may need it too.]]></content:encoded><link>https://www.loudspeaker.org/episodes/how-self-disconnection-impacts-relationships-74672864?ref=rss</link><dc:creator xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/">hello@loudspeaker.org</dc:creator><author>hello@loudspeaker.org</author><itunes:author>hello@loudspeaker.org</itunes:author><googleplay:author>hello@loudspeaker.org</googleplay:author><guid isPermaLink="false">a3118a10-953f-4201-b38d-ba031d258cb6</guid><pubDate>Wed, 28 Oct 2026 04:00:00 -0600</pubDate><itunes:season>1</itunes:season><podcast:season>1</podcast:season><itunes:episode>15</itunes:episode><podcast:episode>15</podcast:episode><enclosure url="https://op3.dev/e/feeds.oyku.media/play/a3118a10-953f-4201-b38d-ba031d258cb6/audio/a3133443-1ecc-4095-851a-6e1c927a1933/a3133443-1ecc-4095-851a-6e1c927a1933-podcast.mp3?ref=rss" length="27170816" type="audio/mpeg"/><itunes:duration>1670</itunes:duration><itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType><image><url>https://cdn.oyku.media/assets/1405/Courage-to-Reconnect.jpg</url><title>S1 E15: How Self-Disconnection Impacts Your Relationships</title><link>https://www.loudspeaker.org/episodes/how-self-disconnection-impacts-relationships-74672864?ref=rss</link></image><itunes:image href="https://cdn.oyku.media/assets/1405/Courage-to-Reconnect.jpg"/><googleplay:image href="https://cdn.oyku.media/assets/1405/Courage-to-Reconnect.jpg"/><itunes:explicit>no</itunes:explicit><googleplay:explicit>no</googleplay:explicit><podcast:person role="host" href="https://www.loudspeaker.org/people/sarah-monares" img="https://cdn.oyku.media/assets/1393/Sarah_Monares.jpg">Sarah Monares</podcast:person><podcast:transcript url="https://cdn.oyku.media/episodes/a3118a10-953f-4201-b38d-ba031d258cb6/transcript.vtt?ref=rss" type="text/vtt"/><podcast:alternateEnclosure type="application/x-mpegURL" height="1080" title="HLS"><podcast:source uri="https://op3.dev/e/cdn.oyku.media/video/a311a034-4ba8-4d5d-88a0-7d7e94786d8a/stream/hls/playlist.m3u8?ref=rss"/></podcast:alternateEnclosure><itunes:block>no</itunes:block><googleplay:block>no</googleplay:block><itunes:subtitle>What happens to your relationships when you’ve learned to disconnect from yourself in order to keep them?...</itunes:subtitle></item><item><title>The Cornell Case: What Happens When Someone Else's Story Activates Your Own</title><itunes:title>The Cornell Case: What Happens When Someone Else's Story Activates Your Own</itunes:title><itunes:summary>Sometimes someone else’s story doesn’t just make you angry. It brings you right back to your own.</itunes:summary><description>Sometimes someone else’s story doesn’t just make you angry. It brings you right back to your own.</description><content:encoded><![CDATA[Warning: This episode contains discussion of rape, sexual assault, and violence. Listener discretion is advised.

Sometimes someone else’s story doesn’t just make you angry. It brings you right back to your own.

You read the headlines. You watch the videos. You see women saying, “This happened to me too.” Maybe you feel rage. Maybe you can’t stop reading. Maybe old memories start surfacing. Maybe you find yourself questioning things you thought you had already made peace with. And suddenly, this isn’t only about what happened at Cornell anymore.

In this episode of The Courage to Reconnect, therapist Sarah Monares uses the Cornell University Jane Doe case to explore what happens when someone else’s experience activates your own Disconnection Loop.

This is not an investigation of the case. It’s a conversation about what may be happening inside of you as you watch it unfold.

Sarah walks through the Loop in real time, from the initial trigger and the conditioning women receive about their bodies and agency, to fear, rage, spiraling, control, self-judgment, self-doubt, and withdrawal. She also talks about why anger can be a powerful force for change while still becoming unsustainable when we stay at full intensity for too long.

The episode also explores a difficult question: what happens when we become so invested in Jane Doe’s courage that we begin needing her to create the ending we wish we had for ourselves?

Her courage belongs to her. Her choices belong to her. Her healing belongs to her.
We can stand beside someone without asking them to live out the ending we wish we’d had.

And if you are a Jane Doe listening, your story matters too.

You can support her. You can support other survivors. You can advocate for accountability and safer systems. And you can also turn toward yourself, question the conditioning you were handed, listen to your own body, rebuild trust in your own experience, and decide how you want to be part of the change your anger is asking for.

Sometimes changing the world looks like speaking loudly. Sometimes it looks like healing something in yourself so it stops being handed down.

Explore The Disconnection Loop Workbook:
https://sarahmonares.com/workbook

Learn more about Sarah:
https://sarahmonares.com

Follow Sarah on Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/sarah_monares/

If this episode brought up something you need support with, please reach out to a qualified professional in your area or visit https://findahelpline.com/ for helplines and support resources around the world.

Disclaimer: This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for therapy, mental health treatment, diagnosis, or individualized professional advice. Listening to or interacting with this content does not create a therapeutic relationship with Sarah Monares. Connect with Sarah Monares:
https://sarahmonares.com
https://www.instagram.com/sarah_monares

If this episode resonated with you, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone who may need it too.]]></content:encoded><link>https://www.loudspeaker.org/episodes/cornell-case-when-someone-elses-story-activates-your-own-73666471?ref=rss</link><dc:creator xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/">hello@loudspeaker.org</dc:creator><author>hello@loudspeaker.org</author><itunes:author>hello@loudspeaker.org</itunes:author><googleplay:author>hello@loudspeaker.org</googleplay:author><guid isPermaLink="false">a2e94e43-573f-4904-9edf-fce9cbaec8ee</guid><pubDate>Wed, 07 Oct 2026 04:00:00 -0600</pubDate><itunes:season>1</itunes:season><podcast:season>1</podcast:season><itunes:episode>14</itunes:episode><podcast:episode>14</podcast:episode><enclosure url="https://op3.dev/e/feeds.oyku.media/play/a2e94e43-573f-4904-9edf-fce9cbaec8ee/audio/a2e94e21-411c-4e83-b48a-b60ecdb756d2/a2e94e21-411c-4e83-b48a-b60ecdb756d2-podcast.mp3?ref=rss" length="41716736" type="audio/mpeg"/><itunes:duration>2579</itunes:duration><itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType><image><url>https://cdn.oyku.media/assets/1405/Courage-to-Reconnect.jpg</url><title>The Cornell Case: What Happens When Someone Else's Story Activates Your Own</title><link>https://www.loudspeaker.org/episodes/cornell-case-when-someone-elses-story-activates-your-own-73666471?ref=rss</link></image><itunes:image href="https://cdn.oyku.media/assets/1405/Courage-to-Reconnect.jpg"/><googleplay:image href="https://cdn.oyku.media/assets/1405/Courage-to-Reconnect.jpg"/><itunes:explicit>no</itunes:explicit><googleplay:explicit>no</googleplay:explicit><podcast:person role="host" href="https://www.loudspeaker.org/people/sarah-monares" img="https://cdn.oyku.media/assets/1393/Sarah_Monares.jpg">Sarah Monares</podcast:person><podcast:transcript url="https://cdn.oyku.media/episodes/a2e94e43-573f-4904-9edf-fce9cbaec8ee/transcript.vtt?ref=rss" type="text/vtt"/><podcast:alternateEnclosure type="application/x-mpegURL" height="1080" title="HLS"><podcast:source uri="https://op3.dev/e/cdn.oyku.media/video/a2e901d8-b07d-4458-b686-0180021ad656/stream/hls/playlist.m3u8?ref=rss"/></podcast:alternateEnclosure><itunes:block>no</itunes:block><googleplay:block>no</googleplay:block><itunes:subtitle>Sometimes someone else’s story doesn’t just make you angry. It brings you right back to your own....</itunes:subtitle></item><item><title>Part 2: When Fear Gets in the Way of Love: Diogo Brehm on Vulnerability, Connection &amp; Being Yourself</title><itunes:title>When Fear Gets in the Way of Love: Diogo Brehm on Vulnerability, Connection &amp; Being Yourself</itunes:title><itunes:summary>What happens when the fear of losing someone makes it harder to let them see who you really are?</itunes:summary><description>What happens when the fear of losing someone makes it harder to let them see who you really are?</description><content:encoded><![CDATA[What happens when the fear of losing someone makes it harder to let them see who you really are?

Part 2 of Sarah’s conversation with Portuguese-German content creator Diogo Brehm picks up where Part 1 leaves off: with fear, vulnerability, and the messy reality of being human in relationships.

Sarah and Diogo explore the strange contradiction at the heart of connection. We want to be seen, loved, and accepted for who we really are, yet fear of rejection or loss can cause us to hide parts of ourselves, avoid difficult conversations, and become the version of ourselves we think someone else will accept.

Diogo opens up about what he’s learning through his own relationships and friendships, including taking responsibility for his actions, communicating more directly, allowing other people to be different from him, and accepting that being yourself also means accepting that not everyone will like you.

The conversation moves from romantic relationships to friendship, loneliness, people entering and leaving our lives, ghosting, and how easily we can interpret someone else’s behavior as evidence that we did something wrong or that something is wrong with us.

And because this is Diogo, there’s plenty of humor along the way, including a conversation about why knowing someone’s “WhatsApp language” might be almost as important as knowing their love language.

As the conversation comes to a close, Diogo reflects on mistakes, losing people, imperfection, and one of the biggest lessons he’s learning: the goal isn’t to become fearless. It’s to stop letting fear make your decisions.

Because when fear makes our decisions, our lives become smaller. When love does, there’s a whole lot more life available to us.

And perhaps the most important lesson of all?

“A pastel de nata a day keeps the worries away.” Connect with Sarah Monares:
https://sarahmonares.com
https://www.instagram.com/sarah_monares

If this episode resonated with you, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone who may need it too.]]></content:encoded><link>https://www.loudspeaker.org/episodes/when-fear-gets-way-of-love-diogo-brehm-79186447?ref=rss</link><dc:creator xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/">hello@loudspeaker.org</dc:creator><author>hello@loudspeaker.org</author><itunes:author>hello@loudspeaker.org</itunes:author><googleplay:author>hello@loudspeaker.org</googleplay:author><guid isPermaLink="false">a2db6ec8-84ef-43b2-818c-1c6a3e242d04</guid><pubDate>Wed, 30 Sep 2026 04:00:00 -0600</pubDate><itunes:season>1</itunes:season><podcast:season>1</podcast:season><itunes:episode>13</itunes:episode><podcast:episode>13</podcast:episode><enclosure url="https://op3.dev/e/feeds.oyku.media/play/a2db6ec8-84ef-43b2-818c-1c6a3e242d04/audio/a2db6e37-039d-43d3-a405-11d8a20bdda9/a2db6e37-039d-43d3-a405-11d8a20bdda9-podcast.mp3?ref=rss" length="36342528" type="audio/mpeg"/><itunes:duration>2243</itunes:duration><itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType><image><url>https://cdn.oyku.media/assets/1405/Courage-to-Reconnect.jpg</url><title>Part 2: When Fear Gets in the Way of Love: Diogo Brehm on Vulnerability, Connection &amp; Being Yourself</title><link>https://www.loudspeaker.org/episodes/when-fear-gets-way-of-love-diogo-brehm-79186447?ref=rss</link></image><itunes:image href="https://cdn.oyku.media/assets/1405/Courage-to-Reconnect.jpg"/><googleplay:image href="https://cdn.oyku.media/assets/1405/Courage-to-Reconnect.jpg"/><itunes:explicit>no</itunes:explicit><googleplay:explicit>no</googleplay:explicit><podcast:person role="host" href="https://www.loudspeaker.org/people/sarah-monares" img="https://cdn.oyku.media/assets/1393/Sarah_Monares.jpg">Sarah Monares</podcast:person><podcast:person role="guest" href="https://www.loudspeaker.org/people/diogo-brehm" img="">Diogo Brehm</podcast:person><podcast:transcript url="https://cdn.oyku.media/episodes/a2db6ec8-84ef-43b2-818c-1c6a3e242d04/transcript.vtt?ref=rss" type="text/vtt"/><podcast:alternateEnclosure type="application/x-mpegURL" height="1080" title="HLS"><podcast:source uri="https://op3.dev/e/cdn.oyku.media/video/a2db6d0b-b1f8-4556-9902-81f9a3cdad24/stream/hls/playlist.m3u8?ref=rss"/></podcast:alternateEnclosure><itunes:block>no</itunes:block><googleplay:block>no</googleplay:block><itunes:subtitle>What happens when the fear of losing someone makes it harder to let them see who you really are?...</itunes:subtitle></item><item><title>Part 1: The Human Behind the Humor: Diogo Brehm on Overthinking, Emotion &amp; Being Real</title><itunes:title>The Human Behind the Humor: Diogo Brehm on Overthinking, Emotion &amp; Being Real</itunes:title><itunes:summary>What happens when the camera turns off?</itunes:summary><description>What happens when the camera turns off?</description><content:encoded><![CDATA[Diogo Brehm is a Portuguese-German content creator who has built a community of more than one million followers across Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube by making people laugh about languages, cultural differences, futebol, and the general chaos of living somewhere between Portuguese and German culture.

But what happens when the camera turns off?

Sarah first discovered Diogo through his comedy. Then one day, he shared something completely different: a vulnerable video about being human and how hard being human can sometimes be. It stayed with her long enough that, after overthinking it for a week, she finally sent him a message.

That message eventually led to this conversation.

In Part 1, Diogo opens up about the human behind the humor. He talks about being a chronic overthinker, the pressure to perform online, loneliness, difficult emotions, and learning that happiness doesn’t require pretending sadness, fear, or uncertainty don’t exist.

He also shares why making people laugh has become so meaningful to him. Diogo knows what it’s like for his own mind to get painfully loud. He also knows what it’s like for something funny to interrupt that noise, even briefly. As he explains, “A funny video might only distract someone for 30 seconds or make them smile after a difficult day, but sometimes those 30 seconds can mean much more than we realise.”

The conversation also turns to what happens when fear follows us into our relationships. Diogo shares what he’s learned about loving deeply, fearing the loss of someone you care about, and how that fear can lead us to overthink, seek reassurance, hold on tighter, and hide parts of ourselves in an attempt to protect the connection.

Together, Sarah and Diogo explore the pressure to become and perform a better version of ourselves, both online and in our relationships, and what becomes possible when we give ourselves permission to feel, struggle, laugh, cry, overthink, love deeply, and still be fully ourselves.

Because behind the jokes, the followers, and the “digital clown,” there’s a real person navigating all the same messy parts of being human.

And maybe that’s what we need to remember about the people on the other side of our screens, too.

Watch the full video that inspired Sarah to reach out to Diogo:
https://www.instagram.com/p/DWe8cmUDayJ/ Connect with Sarah Monares:
https://sarahmonares.com
https://www.instagram.com/sarah_monares

If this episode resonated with you, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone who may need it too.]]></content:encoded><link>https://www.loudspeaker.org/episodes/human-behind-humor-diogo-brehm-95906229?ref=rss</link><dc:creator xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/">hello@loudspeaker.org</dc:creator><author>hello@loudspeaker.org</author><itunes:author>hello@loudspeaker.org</itunes:author><googleplay:author>hello@loudspeaker.org</googleplay:author><guid isPermaLink="false">a2cd4ee7-1d82-4efb-9d60-a3a1bc126a7b</guid><pubDate>Wed, 23 Sep 2026 04:00:00 -0600</pubDate><itunes:season>1</itunes:season><podcast:season>1</podcast:season><itunes:episode>12</itunes:episode><podcast:episode>12</podcast:episode><enclosure url="https://op3.dev/e/feeds.oyku.media/play/a2cd4ee7-1d82-4efb-9d60-a3a1bc126a7b/audio/a2cd403a-6308-406b-9960-c0ca131ed530/a2cd403a-6308-406b-9960-c0ca131ed530-podcast.mp3?ref=rss" length="24216576" type="audio/mpeg"/><itunes:duration>1485</itunes:duration><itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType><image><url>https://cdn.oyku.media/assets/1405/Courage-to-Reconnect.jpg</url><title>Part 1: The Human Behind the Humor: Diogo Brehm on Overthinking, Emotion &amp; Being Real</title><link>https://www.loudspeaker.org/episodes/human-behind-humor-diogo-brehm-95906229?ref=rss</link></image><itunes:image href="https://cdn.oyku.media/assets/1405/Courage-to-Reconnect.jpg"/><googleplay:image href="https://cdn.oyku.media/assets/1405/Courage-to-Reconnect.jpg"/><itunes:explicit>no</itunes:explicit><googleplay:explicit>no</googleplay:explicit><podcast:person role="host" href="https://www.loudspeaker.org/people/sarah-monares" img="https://cdn.oyku.media/assets/1393/Sarah_Monares.jpg">Sarah Monares</podcast:person><podcast:person role="guest" href="https://www.loudspeaker.org/people/diogo-brehm" img="">Diogo Brehm</podcast:person><podcast:transcript url="https://cdn.oyku.media/episodes/a2cd4ee7-1d82-4efb-9d60-a3a1bc126a7b/transcript.vtt?ref=rss" type="text/vtt"/><podcast:alternateEnclosure type="application/x-mpegURL" height="1080" title="HLS"><podcast:source uri="https://op3.dev/e/cdn.oyku.media/video/a2cd42c9-b7da-4222-86c4-5d5f447053b7/stream/hls/playlist.m3u8?ref=rss"/></podcast:alternateEnclosure><itunes:block>no</itunes:block><googleplay:block>no</googleplay:block><itunes:subtitle>What happens when the camera turns off?...</itunes:subtitle></item><item><title>S1 E11: Withdrawal: When You Lose Connection With Yourself</title><itunes:title>Withdrawal: When You Lose Connection With Yourself</itunes:title><itunes:summary>Withdrawal is the final stage of The Disconnection Loop. And it doesn’t always mean physically leaving a relationship. Sometimes we withdraw from our emotions, our needs, our voice, other people, or parts of ourselves while staying right where we are.</itunes:summary><description>Withdrawal is the final stage of The Disconnection Loop. And it doesn’t always mean physically leaving a relationship. Sometimes we withdraw from our emotions, our needs, our voice, other people, or parts of ourselves while staying right where we are.</description><content:encoded><![CDATA[Withdrawal is the final stage of The Disconnection Loop. And it doesn’t always mean physically leaving a relationship. Sometimes we withdraw from our emotions, our needs, our voice, other people, or parts of ourselves while staying right where we are.

In this episode of The Courage to Reconnect, Sarah explores why we withdraw when relationships feel unsafe or overwhelming, the difference between taking intentional space and disconnecting, and how regulation can help us become safe enough to return to what we’re feeling.

You’ll also explore the paradox at the heart of withdrawal: we want to be seen, known, and loved for who we really are, yet we may hide ourselves in an attempt to protect the connection we’re afraid of losing.

Healing doesn’t mean you’ll never disconnect again. It means learning to recognize when you’ve left yourself and developing the courage to return.

Explore The Disconnection Loop Workbook:
https://sarahmonares.com/workbook

Learn more at:
https://couragepod.com

Disclaimer: This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for therapy, mental health treatment, diagnosis, or individualized professional advice. Listening to or interacting with this content does not create a therapeutic relationship with Sarah Monares. If you need mental health support, please reach out to a qualified professional in your area or visit www.findahelpline.com for helplines globally. Connect with Sarah Monares:
https://sarahmonares.com
https://www.instagram.com/sarah_monares

If this episode resonated with you, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone who may need it too.]]></content:encoded><link>https://www.loudspeaker.org/episodes/withdrawal-when-you-lose-connection-yourself-24611739?ref=rss</link><dc:creator xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/">hello@loudspeaker.org</dc:creator><author>hello@loudspeaker.org</author><itunes:author>hello@loudspeaker.org</itunes:author><googleplay:author>hello@loudspeaker.org</googleplay:author><guid isPermaLink="false">a2b1aa5f-4788-4a74-a600-9fc589003e3a</guid><pubDate>Wed, 09 Sep 2026 04:00:00 -0600</pubDate><itunes:season>1</itunes:season><podcast:season>1</podcast:season><itunes:episode>11</itunes:episode><podcast:episode>11</podcast:episode><enclosure url="https://op3.dev/e/feeds.oyku.media/play/a2b1aa5f-4788-4a74-a600-9fc589003e3a/audio/a2b1aa44-5d3b-4094-90d9-75f95c905c90/a2b1aa44-5d3b-4094-90d9-75f95c905c90-podcast.mp3?ref=rss" length="35677568" type="audio/mpeg"/><itunes:duration>2201</itunes:duration><itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType><image><url>https://cdn.oyku.media/assets/1405/Courage-to-Reconnect.jpg</url><title>S1 E11: Withdrawal: When You Lose Connection With Yourself</title><link>https://www.loudspeaker.org/episodes/withdrawal-when-you-lose-connection-yourself-24611739?ref=rss</link></image><itunes:image href="https://cdn.oyku.media/assets/1405/Courage-to-Reconnect.jpg"/><googleplay:image href="https://cdn.oyku.media/assets/1405/Courage-to-Reconnect.jpg"/><itunes:explicit>no</itunes:explicit><googleplay:explicit>no</googleplay:explicit><podcast:person role="host" href="https://www.loudspeaker.org/people/sarah-monares" img="https://cdn.oyku.media/assets/1393/Sarah_Monares.jpg">Sarah Monares</podcast:person><podcast:transcript url="https://cdn.oyku.media/episodes/a2b1aa5f-4788-4a74-a600-9fc589003e3a/transcript.vtt?ref=rss" type="text/vtt"/><podcast:alternateEnclosure type="application/x-mpegURL" height="1080" title="HLS"><podcast:source uri="https://op3.dev/e/cdn.oyku.media/video/a2b1ce3d-001d-44bc-bb61-752e8d1a69cf/stream/hls/playlist.m3u8?ref=rss"/></podcast:alternateEnclosure><itunes:block>no</itunes:block><googleplay:block>no</googleplay:block><itunes:subtitle>Withdrawal is the final stage of The Disconnection Loop. And it doesn’t always mean physically leaving a relationship. Sometimes we withdraw from our emotions, our needs, our voice, other people, or parts of ourselves while staying right where we are...</itunes:subtitle></item><item><title>S1 E10: Self-Doubt: When You Stop Trusting Yourself</title><itunes:title>Self-Doubt: When You Stop Trusting Yourself</itunes:title><itunes:summary>What happens when you've doubted yourself for so long that you stop believing your own voice is trustworthy?</itunes:summary><description>What happens when you've doubted yourself for so long that you stop believing your own voice is trustworthy?</description><content:encoded><![CDATA[Self-doubt doesn't always sound like "I don't trust myself." Sometimes it looks like asking everyone else what they think before making a decision. Replaying a choice over and over again. Needing someone to reassure you that you're not overreacting. Staying in a situation longer than you want to because you aren't sure your reasons for leaving are "good enough." Or consuming endless books, podcasts, and social media because you believe someone else must have the answer you're looking for.

Over time, we can become so accustomed to looking outside ourselves that we stop listening to the voice within us.

When you stop trusting yourself, you start looking outside yourself for someone else to tell you what is true.

In this episode, Sarah explores how our conditioning and experiences can teach us to doubt ourselves, how self-judgment eventually erodes self-trust, and how that can lead us to outsource our worth, knowing, and decisions to the people around us.

She also shares her experience of deciding to move her family from Colorado to Portugal. There was no way to guarantee the decision would work out. Self-trust wasn't knowing exactly what the future would hold. It was knowing that if things didn't work out, they could trust themselves to decide what to do next.

In This EpisodeHow self-judgment eventually leads to self-doubtWhy self-doubt is about more than indecisiveness or confidenceHow relationships and conditioning can teach us to distrust our own experiencesWhat self-doubt can look like in everyday lifeWhy looking outside yourself for constant reassurance can further erode self-trustHow self-doubt contributes to outsourcing your worthWhy breakups and divorce can deeply shake the trust you have in yourselfHow to stop using your past choices as evidence that you can't be trustedWhat healthy self-trust actually meansWhy self-trust doesn't require believing you're always rightHow small choices aligned with your real self rebuild trustWhy learning to trust your future self can reduce anxiety in the present
Trusting Your Past, Present, and Future Self

One way to think about rebuilding self-trust is through three versions of you.

Past you needs understanding. You can take responsibility for past decisions and learn from them without using them as evidence that something is wrong with you. The person you were then made choices with the information, awareness, conditioning, fears, and resources available at the time. The goal is to allow the past to become wisdom rather than evidence against you.

Present you needs action. Self-trust isn't built through affirmations alone. It's built through small experiences of staying aligned with your real self. Every time you honor a need, tell the truth, say no when you mean no, ask for help, listen to a feeling, or make a decision without abandoning yourself for someone else's approval, you create evidence that you can trust yourself.

Future you needs trust. You don't have to solve every possible future problem today. You can trust the version of you who will actually be there to meet that moment with the information, resources, strength, and support available then.

When you trust your future self, your present self doesn't have to solve the future.

A Practice for This Week

Notice when your first instinct is to look outside yourself for an answer.

Before asking someone else what they think, pause and ask yourself:

What do I think? What do I feel? What do I know? What do I need? What feels aligned with who I really am?

Then listen.

You can still seek advice, support, and other perspectives. Healthy self-trust isn't hyper-independence. But try hearing your own voice before inviting everyone else's into the room.

Then look for one small opportunity to act on what you heard.

Every time you do, you're teaching yourself:

I listened to myself. I stayed with myself. I didn't abandon myself.

That's how self-trust gets built.

Go Deeper

If you want to better understand your own Disconnection Loop and begin identifying the conditioning, fears, stories, and protective strategies underneath your patterns, the Discovering Your Disconnection Loop Workbook walks you through the process and introduces the CHANGE Method to help you find your way back to yourself.

Explore the Disconnection Loop Workbook

Next week, we'll explore the final stage of The Disconnection Loop: Withdrawal. After judging and doubting ourselves for long enough, sometimes it begins to feel safer to stop listening altogether. We withdraw from our feelings, needs, voice, other people, and ultimately ourselves.

You don't have to trust yourself to know exactly what the future holds. You only have to trust yourself enough to take the next brave, aligned step and know that you won't abandon yourself along the way.
 Connect with Sarah Monares:
https://sarahmonares.com
https://www.instagram.com/sarah_monares

If this episode resonated with you, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone who may need it too.]]></content:encoded><link>https://www.loudspeaker.org/episodes/self-doubt-when-you-stop-trusting-yourself-32478586?ref=rss</link><dc:creator xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/">hello@loudspeaker.org</dc:creator><author>hello@loudspeaker.org</author><itunes:author>hello@loudspeaker.org</itunes:author><googleplay:author>hello@loudspeaker.org</googleplay:author><guid isPermaLink="false">a2a3985d-2551-4459-9785-1edabf89bd44</guid><pubDate>Wed, 02 Sep 2026 04:00:00 -0600</pubDate><itunes:season>1</itunes:season><podcast:season>1</podcast:season><itunes:episode>10</itunes:episode><podcast:episode>10</podcast:episode><enclosure url="https://op3.dev/e/feeds.oyku.media/play/a2a3985d-2551-4459-9785-1edabf89bd44/audio/a2a39871-ad03-4572-8252-6de4c0f5c0a8/a2a39871-ad03-4572-8252-6de4c0f5c0a8-podcast.mp3?ref=rss" length="33218816" type="audio/mpeg"/><itunes:duration>2048</itunes:duration><itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType><image><url>https://cdn.oyku.media/assets/1405/Courage-to-Reconnect.jpg</url><title>S1 E10: Self-Doubt: When You Stop Trusting Yourself</title><link>https://www.loudspeaker.org/episodes/self-doubt-when-you-stop-trusting-yourself-32478586?ref=rss</link></image><itunes:image href="https://cdn.oyku.media/assets/1405/Courage-to-Reconnect.jpg"/><googleplay:image href="https://cdn.oyku.media/assets/1405/Courage-to-Reconnect.jpg"/><itunes:explicit>no</itunes:explicit><googleplay:explicit>no</googleplay:explicit><podcast:person role="host" href="https://www.loudspeaker.org/people/sarah-monares" img="https://cdn.oyku.media/assets/1393/Sarah_Monares.jpg">Sarah Monares</podcast:person><podcast:transcript url="https://cdn.oyku.media/episodes/a2a3985d-2551-4459-9785-1edabf89bd44/transcript.vtt?ref=rss" type="text/vtt"/><podcast:alternateEnclosure type="application/x-mpegURL" height="1080" title="HLS"><podcast:source uri="https://op3.dev/e/cdn.oyku.media/video/a2a39a69-fbf5-46f8-b7df-f0847c53f963/stream/hls/playlist.m3u8?ref=rss"/></podcast:alternateEnclosure><itunes:block>no</itunes:block><googleplay:block>no</googleplay:block><itunes:subtitle>What happens when you've doubted yourself for so long that you stop believing your own voice is trustworthy?...</itunes:subtitle></item><item><title>S1 E9: Self-Judgment: When You Turn Against Yourself</title><itunes:title>Self-Judgment: When You Turn Against Yourself</itunes:title><itunes:summary>Have you ever made a mistake, reacted in a way you weren't proud of, or experienced rejection and immediately turned it into the thought that there is something wrong with you? That's self-judgment.</itunes:summary><description>Have you ever made a mistake, reacted in a way you weren't proud of, or experienced rejection and immediately turned it into the thought that there is something wrong with you? That's self-judgment.</description><content:encoded><![CDATA[Self-Judgment is one of the most painful stages of The Disconnection Loop because this is where the focus turns inward. Our attempts to control ourselves, other people, or outcomes haven't given us the safety we were looking for. Instead of questioning whether those strategies were ever capable of keeping us safe, we begin questioning ourselves.

We stop questioning the strategy, and we start questioning ourselves.

Maybe you lashed out in anger, begged someone to stay, shut down, manipulated, people-pleased, or completely abandoned yourself trying to preserve a relationship. Looking back, it's easy to move from "I don't like what I did" to "What's wrong with me?"

In this episode, Sarah explores why self-judgment can feel productive even when it's actually keeping us stuck. Many of us learned that criticizing ourselves was how we improved, took accountability, or prevented ourselves from making the same mistake again. But accountability and self-judgment are not the same thing.

Accountability allows us to say, "I made a mistake. What can I learn? What is my responsibility? How do I repair it? What do I want to do differently?" Self-judgment says, "I made a mistake because there's something wrong with me."

In This EpisodeWhy self-judgment follows control in The Disconnection LoopHow we begin confusing our behaviors with our identityThe difference between guilt and shameWhy self-criticism can feel like accountability or motivationWhy shame actually makes meaningful change more difficultHow self-judgment teaches us that we aren't safe being honest with ourselvesHow judging our feelings, needs, and experiences eventually leads us to stop listening to ourselvesWhy curiosity and self-compassion don't eliminate accountability but actually make it possibleHow replacing "What's wrong with me?" with "What happened?" changes the conversation we have with ourselves
Judgment vs. Curiosity
Judgment reaches a verdict. Curiosity gathers information.
Instead of "Why am I like this?" try asking, "What was I trying to protect?"
Instead of "I can't believe I reacted that way," ask, "What was happening inside me?"
Instead of "I'm a terrible person," ask, "What do I need to learn from this?"
Curiosity doesn't excuse behavior or remove responsibility. It creates enough internal safety for us to honestly look at what happened, take responsibility for our part, make repairs when needed, and choose differently next time.

Reflection Questions
As you move through your week, notice the moments when your mind turns against you and consider:Where am I confusing my behavior with my identity?When I judge myself, what am I hoping that judgment will accomplish?Am I trying to prevent myself from making another mistake, become more lovable, earn acceptance, or protect myself from criticism?What would change if I became just a little safer with myself this week?Instead of asking, "What's wrong with me?" what happens if I ask, "What happened, and what was I trying to protect?"The goal isn't to judge yourself for judging yourself. It's to understand what that judgment has been trying to do for you.
Go Deeper
If you're beginning to recognize your own patterns in The Disconnection Loop and want to explore them more deeply, The Disconnection Loop Workbook gives you space to identify the conditioning, fears, stories, and protective strategies underneath your reactions while learning how to reconnect with yourself through the CHANGE Method.

You'll find the workbook at sarahmonares.com/workbook.

Next week, we'll move into Self-Doubt. Because when we repeatedly judge our feelings, needs, choices, and reactions, something else begins to happen: we stop trusting ourselves.
We'll explore why self-doubt develops, how it leads us to look outside ourselves for answers and reassurance, and what it takes to begin rebuilding self-trust.

You disconnected from yourself to preserve connection. The way back isn't becoming someone completely different. It's becoming safe enough to be the real you who has been there all along.
 Connect with Sarah Monares:
https://sarahmonares.com
https://www.instagram.com/sarah_monares

If this episode resonated with you, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone who may need it too.]]></content:encoded><link>https://www.loudspeaker.org/episodes/self-judgment-when-you-turn-against-yourself-81423576?ref=rss</link><dc:creator xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/">hello@loudspeaker.org</dc:creator><author>hello@loudspeaker.org</author><itunes:author>hello@loudspeaker.org</itunes:author><googleplay:author>hello@loudspeaker.org</googleplay:author><guid isPermaLink="false">a29472fd-65a9-4d5f-9534-1a41abde3ac3</guid><pubDate>Wed, 26 Aug 2026 04:00:00 -0600</pubDate><itunes:season>1</itunes:season><podcast:season>1</podcast:season><itunes:episode>9</itunes:episode><podcast:episode>9</podcast:episode><enclosure url="https://op3.dev/e/feeds.oyku.media/play/a29472fd-65a9-4d5f-9534-1a41abde3ac3/audio/a295117d-0bed-46d9-8f83-d538dd38082e/a295117d-0bed-46d9-8f83-d538dd38082e-podcast.mp3?ref=rss" length="41282816" type="audio/mpeg"/><itunes:duration>2552</itunes:duration><itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType><image><url>https://cdn.oyku.media/assets/1405/Courage-to-Reconnect.jpg</url><title>S1 E9: Self-Judgment: When You Turn Against Yourself</title><link>https://www.loudspeaker.org/episodes/self-judgment-when-you-turn-against-yourself-81423576?ref=rss</link></image><itunes:image href="https://cdn.oyku.media/assets/1405/Courage-to-Reconnect.jpg"/><googleplay:image href="https://cdn.oyku.media/assets/1405/Courage-to-Reconnect.jpg"/><itunes:explicit>no</itunes:explicit><googleplay:explicit>no</googleplay:explicit><podcast:person role="host" href="https://www.loudspeaker.org/people/sarah-monares" img="https://cdn.oyku.media/assets/1393/Sarah_Monares.jpg">Sarah Monares</podcast:person><podcast:transcript url="https://cdn.oyku.media/episodes/a29472fd-65a9-4d5f-9534-1a41abde3ac3/transcript.vtt?ref=rss" type="text/vtt"/><podcast:alternateEnclosure type="application/x-mpegURL" height="1080" title="HLS"><podcast:source uri="https://op3.dev/e/cdn.oyku.media/video/a29513a1-8e62-4764-b22e-d6502165d984/stream/hls/playlist.m3u8?ref=rss"/></podcast:alternateEnclosure><itunes:block>no</itunes:block><googleplay:block>no</googleplay:block><itunes:subtitle>Have you ever made a mistake, reacted in a way you weren't proud of, or experienced rejection and immediately turned it into the thought that there is something wrong with you? That's self-judgment....</itunes:subtitle></item><item><title>S1 E8: Control: Creating the Illusion of Safety</title><itunes:title>Control: Creating the Illusion of Safety</itunes:title><itunes:summary>Once fear convinces us that the story in our head is true, we don't just believe the story. We start living the story.</itunes:summary><description>Once fear convinces us that the story in our head is true, we don't just believe the story. We start living the story.</description><content:encoded><![CDATA[Once fear convinces us that the story in our head is true, we don't just believe the story. We start living the story.

That's where control enters The Disconnection Loop.

Control is our attempt to prevent the pain or discomfort we're afraid is coming. We may try to control ourselves by becoming perfect, hiding our needs, or changing who we are. We may try to control other people through people-pleasing, fixing, rescuing, reassurance-seeking, anger, withdrawal, or manipulation. Or we may try to control outcomes by anticipating every possibility and doing everything we can to prevent rejection, conflict, disappointment, uncertainty, or loss. The behaviors can look completely different, but the goal is often the same: If I can control what happens, maybe I won't have to feel the pain.

In this episode, Sarah also explores one of the greatest costs of control: we can become so focused on managing other people, ourselves, and the future that we slowly lose connection with who we actually are. And in our relationships, fear can cause us to stop responding to the person in front of us and begin responding to the version of them our fear has created.

In This EpisodeWhy control is much broader than being demanding or manipulativeHow control follows fear and The Spiral in The Disconnection LoopThe three places we tend to seek control: ourselves, other people, and outcomesWhy people-pleasing, perfectionism, fixing, rescuing, hyper-independence, anger, and withdrawal can all function as control strategiesWhy our control strategies can shift from one extreme to anotherHow control temporarily reduces anxiety without actually creating safetyThe hidden cost of carrying responsibilities that were never oursHow control can cause us to lose ourselves while trying to preserve connectionWhy fear changes the way we see the people we loveHow releasing control can create space for more authentic connection
Reflection Questions

As you move through your week, notice the moments when you feel the urge to fix, rescue, people-please, withdraw, seek reassurance, change someone's mind, or control what happens next.
Ask yourself:

What am I trying to control?What am I afraid will happen if I don't?What story am I believing right now?What pain am I trying to prevent?How am I controlling myself, other people, or the outcome?
The goal isn't to immediately change the behavior. Start by gathering information and understanding what your protective strategies are trying to do for you.

Go Deeper
If you're beginning to recognize some of these control patterns in yourself and want to dig a little deeper, the Discovering Your Disconnection Loop Workbook gives you space to work through your own loop and understand the beliefs, fears, stories, and protective behaviors underneath your patterns.

You'll find the workbook and additional resources at SarahMonares.com.

Next time, we'll move into Self-Judgment and explore what happens when our attempts to control don't work. Instead of questioning the strategy, we often begin questioning ourselves.

Remember: Control doesn't create safety. It creates the illusion of safety.
 Connect with Sarah Monares:
https://sarahmonares.com
https://www.instagram.com/sarah_monares

If this episode resonated with you, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone who may need it too.]]></content:encoded><link>https://www.loudspeaker.org/episodes/control-creating-illusion-safety-31221705?ref=rss</link><dc:creator xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/">hello@loudspeaker.org</dc:creator><author>hello@loudspeaker.org</author><itunes:author>hello@loudspeaker.org</itunes:author><googleplay:author>hello@loudspeaker.org</googleplay:author><guid isPermaLink="false">a2875d5e-1882-456e-accd-c0295a13fbcf</guid><pubDate>Wed, 19 Aug 2026 04:00:00 -0600</pubDate><itunes:season>1</itunes:season><podcast:season>1</podcast:season><itunes:episode>8</itunes:episode><podcast:episode>8</podcast:episode><enclosure url="https://op3.dev/e/feeds.oyku.media/play/a2875d5e-1882-456e-accd-c0295a13fbcf/audio/a2875d9c-547f-4b9e-802d-72c67bbf2a2b/a2875d9c-547f-4b9e-802d-72c67bbf2a2b-podcast.mp3?ref=rss" length="36115200" type="audio/mpeg"/><itunes:duration>2228</itunes:duration><itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType><image><url>https://cdn.oyku.media/assets/1405/Courage-to-Reconnect.jpg</url><title>S1 E8: Control: Creating the Illusion of Safety</title><link>https://www.loudspeaker.org/episodes/control-creating-illusion-safety-31221705?ref=rss</link></image><itunes:image href="https://cdn.oyku.media/assets/1405/Courage-to-Reconnect.jpg"/><googleplay:image href="https://cdn.oyku.media/assets/1405/Courage-to-Reconnect.jpg"/><itunes:explicit>no</itunes:explicit><googleplay:explicit>no</googleplay:explicit><podcast:person role="host" href="https://www.loudspeaker.org/people/sarah-monares" img="https://cdn.oyku.media/assets/1393/Sarah_Monares.jpg">Sarah Monares</podcast:person><podcast:transcript url="https://cdn.oyku.media/episodes/a2875d5e-1882-456e-accd-c0295a13fbcf/transcript.vtt?ref=rss" type="text/vtt"/><podcast:alternateEnclosure type="application/x-mpegURL" height="1080" title="HLS"><podcast:source uri="https://op3.dev/e/cdn.oyku.media/video/a2875f5f-1adb-4000-91be-ebd1ab1ecd36/stream/hls/playlist.m3u8?ref=rss"/></podcast:alternateEnclosure><itunes:block>no</itunes:block><googleplay:block>no</googleplay:block><itunes:subtitle>Once fear convinces us that the story in our head is true, we don't just believe the story. We start living the story....</itunes:subtitle></item><item><title>S1 E7: The Spiral: The Stories Fear Tells Us</title><itunes:title>The Spiral: The Stories Fear Tells Us</itunes:title><itunes:summary>Have you ever been completely convinced someone was upset with you, that you ruined something, or that the worst-case scenario was about to happen, only to find out later that the story in your head wasn't actually true?</itunes:summary><description>Have you ever been completely convinced someone was upset with you, that you ruined something, or that the worst-case scenario was about to happen, only to find out later that the story in your head wasn't actually true?</description><content:encoded><![CDATA[Fear rarely stops at fear. Once we're afraid, our minds begin trying to make sense of what's happening. We fill in missing information, make assumptions, replay conversations, predict what might happen next, and before long, we've created an entire story.

The problem isn't that our brains create stories. We're meaning-making humans, and our brains naturally try to make sense of uncertainty. The problem is that fear often becomes the author, and fear rarely writes neutral stories.

In this episode, Sarah walks through The Spiral, one of the most painful parts of The Disconnection Loop and often the first point where we consciously realize we're caught in the pattern. She explains why our stories can feel so convincing, how emotion and logic work together through the concept of Wise Mind, and why feeling something deeply doesn't necessarily make our interpretation of the situation completely true.

In This Episode:What The Spiral is and where it fits into The Disconnection LoopWhy fear fills in the blanks when we're faced with uncertaintyHow assumptions can begin feeling like factsWhy emotions are important without always being reliable evidence of the story we're telling ourselvesHow fear can turn a disappointing experience into a judgment about our worthWhy comparison is sometimes the spiral searching for evidence to prove its own storyWhat it means to outsource our worth to other people, relationships, achievements, and outcomesHow the CHANGE Method can help us interrupt the spiral and Ground in TruthHow asking, "What percentage of this story is actually true?" can help us reconnect emotion with reality
Reflection Questions

This week, simply begin noticing when you're in The Spiral. You don't have to immediately stop it or fix it. Start by getting curious.

What story am I telling myself right now?What emotion is that story creating?What evidence actually supports this story?What evidence doesn't?If I wasn't listening to fear, what else might be true?

These questions may not immediately change how you feel, but they can begin changing your relationship with the story.

Go Deeper

If you'd like to explore your own Disconnection Loop more deeply, the Discovering Your Disconnection Loop Workbook walks you through each part of the loop to help you identify your patterns, beliefs, fears, and stories, then introduces the CHANGE Method to help you begin finding your way out.

Explore the Disconnection Loop Workbook

Next week, we'll move into the next stage of The Disconnection Loop: Control. Once fear's story feels true, we naturally begin trying to do something about it. We try harder, people-please, compare, fix, rescue, or control outcomes, all in an attempt to protect ourselves from the pain we believe is coming.

Remember: Just because fear tells the story doesn't mean fear gets to decide the ending.
 Connect with Sarah Monares:
https://sarahmonares.com
https://www.instagram.com/sarah_monares

If this episode resonated with you, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone who may need it too.]]></content:encoded><link>https://www.loudspeaker.org/episodes/spiral-stories-fear-tells-us-65074720?ref=rss</link><dc:creator xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/">hello@loudspeaker.org</dc:creator><author>hello@loudspeaker.org</author><itunes:author>hello@loudspeaker.org</itunes:author><googleplay:author>hello@loudspeaker.org</googleplay:author><guid isPermaLink="false">a278ea27-a3b3-421b-8ef9-c18bc03a7054</guid><pubDate>Wed, 12 Aug 2026 04:00:00 -0600</pubDate><itunes:season>1</itunes:season><podcast:season>1</podcast:season><itunes:episode>7</itunes:episode><podcast:episode>7</podcast:episode><enclosure url="https://op3.dev/e/feeds.oyku.media/play/a278ea27-a3b3-421b-8ef9-c18bc03a7054/audio/a27aadbe-72a3-4f35-bf67-f6dd227904f2/a27aadbe-72a3-4f35-bf67-f6dd227904f2-podcast.mp3?ref=rss" length="28625408" type="audio/mpeg"/><itunes:duration>1760</itunes:duration><itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType><image><url>https://cdn.oyku.media/assets/1405/Courage-to-Reconnect.jpg</url><title>S1 E7: The Spiral: The Stories Fear Tells Us</title><link>https://www.loudspeaker.org/episodes/spiral-stories-fear-tells-us-65074720?ref=rss</link></image><itunes:image href="https://cdn.oyku.media/assets/1405/Courage-to-Reconnect.jpg"/><googleplay:image href="https://cdn.oyku.media/assets/1405/Courage-to-Reconnect.jpg"/><itunes:explicit>no</itunes:explicit><googleplay:explicit>no</googleplay:explicit><podcast:person role="host" href="https://www.loudspeaker.org/people/sarah-monares" img="https://cdn.oyku.media/assets/1393/Sarah_Monares.jpg">Sarah Monares</podcast:person><podcast:transcript url="https://cdn.oyku.media/episodes/a278ea27-a3b3-421b-8ef9-c18bc03a7054/transcript.vtt?ref=rss" type="text/vtt"/><podcast:alternateEnclosure type="application/x-mpegURL" height="1080" title="HLS"><podcast:source uri="https://op3.dev/e/cdn.oyku.media/video/a2797043-6209-4e8b-b8e0-a4e368732034/stream/hls/playlist.m3u8?ref=rss"/></podcast:alternateEnclosure><itunes:block>no</itunes:block><googleplay:block>no</googleplay:block><itunes:subtitle>Have you ever been completely convinced someone was upset with you, that you ruined something, or that the worst-case scenario was about to happen, only to find out later that the story in your head wasn't actually true?...</itunes:subtitle></item><item><title>S1 E6: Fear: What Are You Really Afraid Of?</title><itunes:title>Fear: What Are You Really Afraid Of?</itunes:title><itunes:summary>Fear influences more of our lives than we realize. It shows up everywhere and often presents as things like people-pleasing, overthinking, perfectionism, conflict avoidance, anxious attachment, reassurance-seeking, and so many of the behaviors we struggle to understand. But beneath those behaviors is usually something much deeper.</itunes:summary><description>Fear influences more of our lives than we realize. It shows up everywhere and often presents as things like people-pleasing, overthinking, perfectionism, conflict avoidance, anxious attachment, reassurance-seeking, and so many of the behaviors we struggle to understand. But beneath those behaviors is usually something much deeper.</description><content:encoded><![CDATA[Fear rarely looks like fear. More often, it shows up as overthinking, anxiety, people-pleasing, perfectionism, avoiding difficult conversations, or trying to control situations that feel uncertain.

A lot of the behaviors we criticize ourselves for are actually attempts to protect us from emotional pain.

In this episode, Sarah explores the role fear plays in The Disconnection Loop and explains why fear is often the force driving our reactions, even when we don't realize it's there. You'll learn why fear isn't something to eliminate, but something to understand. Together, we'll look beneath the surface of our behaviors and ask one powerful question:

What am I really afraid of?

In this episode, we discuss:Why fear influences more of our lives than we realizeHow beliefs become the foundation for fearWhy fear reacts to what it believes a situation meansThe difference between surface fears and deeper fearsHow fear quietly organizes our lives around avoiding painWhy fear often disguises itself as overthinking, people-pleasing, perfectionism, and controlHow curiosity helps us respond to fear with greater compassion
Reflection Questions

This week, notice the moments when you feel anxious, reactive, defensive, avoidant, or controlling.
Instead of asking, "What's wrong with me?" ask yourself:

What am I really afraid of?What feels at risk right now?What am I trying to protect?Is my fear responding to what's happening now, or what it believes might happen next?
Awareness is where change begins! You can also dig in deeper with The Disconnection Loop Workbook available for download at www.sarahmonares.com/workbook.

Next week, we'll explore what fear does next as we look at The Spiral—the stories fear tells and how they keep us stuck.

If you’re just finding the podcast on this episode, make sure you go back and listen to previous episodes as they work together and build on one another.
 Connect with Sarah Monares:
https://sarahmonares.com
https://www.instagram.com/sarah_monares

If this episode resonated with you, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone who may need it too.]]></content:encoded><link>https://www.loudspeaker.org/episodes/fear-what-are-you-really-afraid-of-88453525?ref=rss</link><dc:creator xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/">hello@loudspeaker.org</dc:creator><author>hello@loudspeaker.org</author><itunes:author>hello@loudspeaker.org</itunes:author><googleplay:author>hello@loudspeaker.org</googleplay:author><guid isPermaLink="false">a26b5e84-348f-4e9a-a97f-956b34c7181f</guid><pubDate>Wed, 05 Aug 2026 04:00:00 -0600</pubDate><itunes:season>1</itunes:season><podcast:season>1</podcast:season><itunes:episode>6</itunes:episode><podcast:episode>6</podcast:episode><enclosure url="https://op3.dev/e/feeds.oyku.media/play/a26b5e84-348f-4e9a-a97f-956b34c7181f/audio/a26b5df0-6a75-4b34-a2f8-b2f0fd51b23e/a26b5df0-6a75-4b34-a2f8-b2f0fd51b23e-podcast.mp3?ref=rss" length="23336448" type="audio/mpeg"/><itunes:duration>1430</itunes:duration><itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType><image><url>https://cdn.oyku.media/assets/1405/Courage-to-Reconnect.jpg</url><title>S1 E6: Fear: What Are You Really Afraid Of?</title><link>https://www.loudspeaker.org/episodes/fear-what-are-you-really-afraid-of-88453525?ref=rss</link></image><itunes:image href="https://cdn.oyku.media/assets/1405/Courage-to-Reconnect.jpg"/><googleplay:image href="https://cdn.oyku.media/assets/1405/Courage-to-Reconnect.jpg"/><itunes:explicit>no</itunes:explicit><googleplay:explicit>no</googleplay:explicit><podcast:person role="host" href="https://www.loudspeaker.org/people/sarah-monares" img="https://cdn.oyku.media/assets/1393/Sarah_Monares.jpg">Sarah Monares</podcast:person><podcast:transcript url="https://cdn.oyku.media/episodes/a26b5e84-348f-4e9a-a97f-956b34c7181f/transcript.vtt?ref=rss" type="text/vtt"/><podcast:alternateEnclosure type="application/x-mpegURL" height="1080" title="HLS"><podcast:source uri="https://op3.dev/e/cdn.oyku.media/video/a26b5ca5-ac7a-42ae-8cd0-c8b002c31177/stream/hls/playlist.m3u8?ref=rss"/></podcast:alternateEnclosure><itunes:block>no</itunes:block><googleplay:block>no</googleplay:block><itunes:subtitle>Fear influences more of our lives than we realize. It shows up everywhere and often presents as things like people-pleasing, overthinking, perfectionism, conflict avoidance, anxious attachment, reassurance-seeking, and so many of the behaviors we strug...</itunes:subtitle></item><item><title>S1 E5: How Relationships Shape the Beliefs You Live By</title><itunes:title>How Relationships Shape the Beliefs You Live By</itunes:title><itunes:summary>Exploring how childhood conditioning and relational wounds shape the beliefs we carry about ourselves, other people, relationships, and the world.</itunes:summary><description>Exploring how childhood conditioning and relational wounds shape the beliefs we carry about ourselves, other people, relationships, and the world.</description><content:encoded><![CDATA[Why do you react the way you do? Have you ever wondered why a delayed text, criticism, conflict, or someone setting a boundary can feel so overwhelming? The answer often isn't the situation itself. It's the beliefs you've developed through your life experiences.

If you're struggling with people-pleasing, self-doubt, fear of rejection, or unhealthy relationship patterns, understanding your conditioning may be the missing piece.

In this episode, we explore the next step in The Disconnection Loop: conditioning.

Every relationship you've experienced has taught you something about yourself, other people, relationships, and the world. Some of that conditioning helps you feel safe, secure, and connected. Other conditioning develops through relational wounds, shaping beliefs that can quietly fuel people-pleasing, fear of rejection, self-doubt, anxiety, and unhealthy relationship patterns.

By understanding where your beliefs came from, you can begin approaching yourself with curiosity instead of judgment and take the first step toward lasting emotional healing.

In This Episode You'll LearnWhy two people can experience the same situation but have completely different emotional reactionsWhat conditioning is and how childhood experiences shape your beliefsThe difference between healthy conditioning and conditioning formed through relational woundsHow limiting beliefs influence the way you see yourself, other people, relationships, and the worldWhy emotional triggers often point to beliefs you've been carrying for yearsHow beliefs become the foundation for fear, anxiety, and unhealthy relationship patternsA personal example of identifying a core belief using The Disconnection LoopReflection questions to help you begin identifying your own conditioning

Key TakeawaysWe're all conditioned through relationships.Our relational wounds shape the beliefs we carry about ourselves, other people, relationships, and the world.The wound isn't just what happened. It's the meaning we made because it happened.We don't react to life exactly as it is. We react to life through the beliefs we've developed about it.The things we are conditioned to believe become the foundation for our fears.The goal isn't blame. The goal is understanding.You can't change a belief you don't know you're carrying.

Reflection Questions
As you move through your week, spend a few minutes reflecting on these questions:

What beliefs do I carry about myself?What do I believe about other people?What do I believe about relationships?What do I believe about conflict?What do I believe about asking for help?What do I believe about making mistakes?What do I believe about love?What do I believe I have to do to be accepted?Where might those beliefs have come from?What relationships helped shape them?

Remember, the goal isn't to judge yourself or immediately change these beliefs. Simply notice them with curiosity. Awareness is where healing begins. Connect with Sarah Monares:
https://sarahmonares.com
https://www.instagram.com/sarah_monares

If this episode resonated with you, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone who may need it too.]]></content:encoded><link>https://www.loudspeaker.org/episodes/how-relationships-shape-beliefs-you-live-by-64971757?ref=rss</link><dc:creator xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/">hello@loudspeaker.org</dc:creator><author>hello@loudspeaker.org</author><itunes:author>hello@loudspeaker.org</itunes:author><googleplay:author>hello@loudspeaker.org</googleplay:author><guid isPermaLink="false">a24e3728-0786-4502-9a9b-b07d1c500f90</guid><pubDate>Wed, 22 Jul 2026 04:00:00 -0600</pubDate><itunes:season>1</itunes:season><podcast:season>1</podcast:season><itunes:episode>5</itunes:episode><podcast:episode>5</podcast:episode><enclosure url="https://op3.dev/e/feeds.oyku.media/play/a24e3728-0786-4502-9a9b-b07d1c500f90/audio/a2501c6d-ef02-47cc-84a6-473287bc895e/a2501c6d-ef02-47cc-84a6-473287bc895e-podcast.mp3?ref=rss" length="24371328" type="audio/mpeg"/><itunes:duration>1494</itunes:duration><itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType><image><url>https://cdn.oyku.media/assets/1405/Courage-to-Reconnect.jpg</url><title>S1 E5: How Relationships Shape the Beliefs You Live By</title><link>https://www.loudspeaker.org/episodes/how-relationships-shape-beliefs-you-live-by-64971757?ref=rss</link></image><itunes:image href="https://cdn.oyku.media/assets/1405/Courage-to-Reconnect.jpg"/><googleplay:image href="https://cdn.oyku.media/assets/1405/Courage-to-Reconnect.jpg"/><itunes:explicit>no</itunes:explicit><googleplay:explicit>no</googleplay:explicit><podcast:person role="host" href="https://www.loudspeaker.org/people/sarah-monares" img="https://cdn.oyku.media/assets/1393/Sarah_Monares.jpg">Sarah Monares</podcast:person><podcast:transcript url="https://cdn.oyku.media/episodes/a24e3728-0786-4502-9a9b-b07d1c500f90/transcript.vtt?ref=rss" type="text/vtt"/><podcast:alternateEnclosure type="application/x-mpegURL" height="1080" title="HLS"><podcast:source uri="https://op3.dev/e/cdn.oyku.media/video/a2501d23-26db-436d-bac2-1dd50f4312c0/stream/hls/playlist.m3u8?ref=rss"/></podcast:alternateEnclosure><itunes:block>no</itunes:block><googleplay:block>no</googleplay:block><itunes:subtitle>Exploring how childhood conditioning and relational wounds shape the beliefs we carry about ourselves, other people, relationships, and the world....</itunes:subtitle></item><item><title>S1 E4: Triggered: Why Small Things Feel So Big</title><itunes:title>Triggered: Why Small Things Feel So Big</itunes:title><itunes:summary>Emotional triggers, why they happen, and what they may be trying to tell us.</itunes:summary><description>Emotional triggers, why they happen, and what they may be trying to tell us.</description><content:encoded><![CDATA[Why does an unanswered text create so much anxiety? Why can a change in someone's tone ruin your entire day? Why do seemingly small moments sometimes create such big reactions?

In this episode of The Courage to Reconnect, Sarah explores emotional triggers, why they happen, and what they may be trying to tell us.

Together, we'll unpack how triggers activate old beliefs, wounds, experiences, and conditioning, why our reactions often feel bigger than the moment itself, and how our nervous system responds to what feels familiar rather than simply what is happening in the present.

If you've ever wondered, "Why did I react so strongly to that?" this episode is for you.

Because triggers are not evidence that something is wrong with you. They're information. And learning how to listen to that information can change the way you relate to yourself, your emotions, and your relationships.

Show Notes:
In this episode, Sarah explores emotional triggers, why they happen, and why small moments can sometimes create surprisingly big reactions.

Together, we'll discuss:What triggers actually are and the misconceptions surrounding themWhy triggers are the entry point into The Disconnection LoopHow old beliefs, experiences, and conditioning shape our reactionsWhy your nervous system reacts before logic catches upEmotional memory and why present experiences often activate past experiencesWhy different people can respond very differently to the same situationCommon relationship triggers and emotional triggersHow curiosity helps us learn from triggers instead of judging ourselves for them

Key Takeaways:Triggers are not proof that something is wrong with you.The reaction is often bigger than the moment because your nervous system is responding to what the moment reminds you of.The brain isn't always asking, "Is this dangerous?" Sometimes it's asking, "Does this feel familiar?"The goal isn't to stop being triggered. The goal is to become curious about what the trigger is trying to show you.

Reflection Questions:What just got activated?What story am I telling myself?What does this moment remind me of?What does this trigger mean to me?What fear just got activated?What belief is underneath this reaction? Connect with Sarah Monares:
https://sarahmonares.com
https://www.instagram.com/sarah_monares

If this episode resonated with you, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone who may need it too.]]></content:encoded><link>https://www.loudspeaker.org/episodes/triggered-why-small-things-feel-so-big-29958812?ref=rss</link><dc:creator xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/">hello@loudspeaker.org</dc:creator><author>hello@loudspeaker.org</author><itunes:author>hello@loudspeaker.org</itunes:author><googleplay:author>hello@loudspeaker.org</googleplay:author><guid isPermaLink="false">a2420f0c-c1d2-4340-81d7-35e5b37c0aff</guid><pubDate>Wed, 15 Jul 2026 04:00:00 -0600</pubDate><itunes:season>1</itunes:season><podcast:season>1</podcast:season><itunes:episode>4</itunes:episode><podcast:episode>4</podcast:episode><enclosure url="https://op3.dev/e/feeds.oyku.media/play/a2420f0c-c1d2-4340-81d7-35e5b37c0aff/audio/a2421102-ce17-4dc7-bf56-1e45f7e99372/a2421102-ce17-4dc7-bf56-1e45f7e99372-podcast.mp3?ref=rss" length="27910656" type="audio/mpeg"/><itunes:duration>1716</itunes:duration><itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType><image><url>https://cdn.oyku.media/assets/1405/Courage-to-Reconnect.jpg</url><title>S1 E4: Triggered: Why Small Things Feel So Big</title><link>https://www.loudspeaker.org/episodes/triggered-why-small-things-feel-so-big-29958812?ref=rss</link></image><itunes:image href="https://cdn.oyku.media/assets/1405/Courage-to-Reconnect.jpg"/><googleplay:image href="https://cdn.oyku.media/assets/1405/Courage-to-Reconnect.jpg"/><itunes:explicit>no</itunes:explicit><googleplay:explicit>no</googleplay:explicit><podcast:person role="host" href="https://www.loudspeaker.org/people/sarah-monares" img="https://cdn.oyku.media/assets/1393/Sarah_Monares.jpg">Sarah Monares</podcast:person><podcast:transcript url="https://cdn.oyku.media/episodes/a2420f0c-c1d2-4340-81d7-35e5b37c0aff/transcript.vtt?ref=rss" type="text/vtt"/><podcast:alternateEnclosure type="application/x-mpegURL" height="1080" title="HLS"><podcast:source uri="https://op3.dev/e/cdn.oyku.media/video/a2421cbd-09dd-4fcb-9ddd-04367efd848f/stream/hls/playlist.m3u8?ref=rss"/></podcast:alternateEnclosure><itunes:block>no</itunes:block><googleplay:block>no</googleplay:block><itunes:subtitle>Emotional triggers, why they happen, and what they may be trying to tell us....</itunes:subtitle></item><item><title>S1 E3: Reconnecting Through CHANGE</title><itunes:title>Reconnecting Through CHANGE</itunes:title><itunes:summary>How do we stop repeating unhealthy patterns, reconnect with ourselves, and begin responding differently?</itunes:summary><description>How do we stop repeating unhealthy patterns, reconnect with ourselves, and begin responding differently?</description><content:encoded><![CDATA[By now, you may be starting to recognize The Disconnection Loop in your own life and relationships. But awareness alone doesn't create change.

So how do we stop repeating unhealthy patterns, reconnect with ourselves, and begin responding differently?

In this episode of The Courage to Reconnect, Sarah introduces the C.H.A.N.G.E. Method, a practical approach to creating lasting change through self-awareness, curiosity, self-compassion, nervous system regulation, and brave action.

Together, we'll explore why healing isn't about becoming someone new, why understanding our patterns is only the beginning, and how small moments of courage repeated over time can transform the way we relate to ourselves and others.

If you've ever wondered how to stop people-pleasing, break unhealthy relationship patterns, decrease your anxiety, trust yourself more, or finally create change that lasts, this episode is for you.

Together, we'll discuss:Why awareness alone isn't enough to create lasting changeWhy we continue repeating familiar patterns, even when we understand themThe role of courage, self-compassion, and nervous system regulation in healingWhy change often feels uncomfortable, even when it's healthyThe importance of practicing new responses instead of perfecting old onesCommon barriers to change, including all-or-nothing thinkingHow reconnection becomes possible through small, brave moments repeated over time

The C.H.A.N.G.E. Method:Create Space – Slow down enough to intentionally hear yourself and stay present with discomfort instead of immediately reacting.Have Curiosity – Replace judgment with curiosity and begin gathering information about your patterns.Allow Awareness – Notice your thoughts, emotions, triggers, and responses without trying to immediately fix them.Nurture Self-Compassion – Respond to yourself with kindness instead of criticism.Ground Yourself – Support your nervous system and create enough safety to choose your response. Then assess what % of the belief is actually true.Engage in Action – Practice honesty, boundaries, emotional presence, authenticity, and new ways of responding. It’s all about the small brave steps forward.

Key Takeaway:
Reconnection requires practicing new responses, not just understanding old patterns.

Reflection Questions:Where in your life do you know what needs to change, but find yourself feeling stuck?Which part of the C.H.A.N.G.E. Method feels most challenging for you right now?What is one small, brave action you could take this week that would move you toward reconnection instead of repetition? Connect with Sarah Monares:
https://sarahmonares.com
https://www.instagram.com/sarah_monares

If this episode resonated with you, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone who may need it too.]]></content:encoded><link>https://www.loudspeaker.org/episodes/reconnecting-through-change-24028270?ref=rss</link><dc:creator xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/">hello@loudspeaker.org</dc:creator><author>hello@loudspeaker.org</author><itunes:author>hello@loudspeaker.org</itunes:author><googleplay:author>hello@loudspeaker.org</googleplay:author><guid isPermaLink="false">a233f17f-0706-4797-a6c7-f0b0af73fe23</guid><pubDate>Wed, 08 Jul 2026 04:00:00 -0600</pubDate><itunes:season>1</itunes:season><podcast:season>1</podcast:season><itunes:episode>3</itunes:episode><podcast:episode>3</podcast:episode><enclosure url="https://op3.dev/e/feeds.oyku.media/play/a233f17f-0706-4797-a6c7-f0b0af73fe23/audio/a2340272-e69e-49ae-a635-611984a0b9f9/a2340272-e69e-49ae-a635-611984a0b9f9-podcast.mp3?ref=rss" length="30571776" type="audio/mpeg"/><itunes:duration>1882</itunes:duration><itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType><image><url>https://cdn.oyku.media/assets/1405/Courage-to-Reconnect.jpg</url><title>S1 E3: Reconnecting Through CHANGE</title><link>https://www.loudspeaker.org/episodes/reconnecting-through-change-24028270?ref=rss</link></image><itunes:image href="https://cdn.oyku.media/assets/1405/Courage-to-Reconnect.jpg"/><googleplay:image href="https://cdn.oyku.media/assets/1405/Courage-to-Reconnect.jpg"/><itunes:explicit>no</itunes:explicit><googleplay:explicit>no</googleplay:explicit><podcast:person role="host" href="https://www.loudspeaker.org/people/sarah-monares" img="https://cdn.oyku.media/assets/1393/Sarah_Monares.jpg">Sarah Monares</podcast:person><podcast:transcript url="https://cdn.oyku.media/episodes/a233f17f-0706-4797-a6c7-f0b0af73fe23/transcript.vtt?ref=rss" type="text/vtt"/><podcast:alternateEnclosure type="application/x-mpegURL" height="1080" title="HLS"><podcast:source uri="https://op3.dev/e/cdn.oyku.media/video/a2340358-c394-428a-88a8-e6f9409227ef/stream/hls/playlist.m3u8?ref=rss"/></podcast:alternateEnclosure><itunes:block>no</itunes:block><googleplay:block>no</googleplay:block><itunes:subtitle>How do we stop repeating unhealthy patterns, reconnect with ourselves, and begin responding differently?...</itunes:subtitle></item><item><title>S1 E2: Why We Disconnect from Ourselves</title><itunes:title>Why We Disconnect from Ourselves</itunes:title><itunes:summary>None of us are born disconnected from ourselves. So how does it happen?</itunes:summary><description>None of us are born disconnected from ourselves. So how does it happen?</description><content:encoded><![CDATA[In this episode of The Courage to Reconnect, Sarah explores the experiences, relationships, and messages that teach us who we need to be in order to feel loved, accepted, safe, and connected.

Together, we'll unpack attachment, conditioning, and the ways many of us learn to disconnect from our needs, feelings, and authentic selves in an effort to protect connection.

Because if disconnection was learned, reconnection is possible. If you've ever wondered why speaking up feels risky, why you struggle to trust yourself, or why you keep repeating the same patterns in relationships, this episode is for you.

Show Notes:

In this episode, Sarah explores how and why we become disconnected from ourselves in the first place.

Together, we'll discuss:Why we aren't born disconnected from ourselvesAttachment and early relationship experiencesConditioning and the messages we receive growing upHow we learn what is safe, acceptable, and necessary for connectionWhy many of our current patterns originally developed as protection strategiesThe relationship between self-disconnection and relationship strugglesWhy understanding where our patterns came from creates space for compassion and change
Key takeaway:
Many of the behaviors you judge yourself for started as ways to protect connection.

Reflection Questions:What messages did you receive growing up about emotions, needs, conflict, or asking for help?What parts of yourself may have felt unsafe to express?What did you learn you needed to do in order to feel loved, accepted, or connected? Connect with Sarah Monares:
https://sarahmonares.com
https://www.instagram.com/sarah_monares

If this episode resonated with you, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone who may need it too.]]></content:encoded><link>https://www.loudspeaker.org/episodes/why-we-disconnect-from-ourselves-26531620?ref=rss</link><dc:creator xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/">hello@loudspeaker.org</dc:creator><author>hello@loudspeaker.org</author><itunes:author>hello@loudspeaker.org</itunes:author><googleplay:author>hello@loudspeaker.org</googleplay:author><guid isPermaLink="false">a225df01-b23c-4552-9045-6fc8705b2e79</guid><pubDate>Wed, 01 Jul 2026 04:00:00 -0600</pubDate><itunes:season>1</itunes:season><podcast:season>1</podcast:season><itunes:episode>2</itunes:episode><podcast:episode>2</podcast:episode><enclosure url="https://op3.dev/e/feeds.oyku.media/play/a225df01-b23c-4552-9045-6fc8705b2e79/audio/a225dcf6-46a3-4cb9-9466-116b2fe5543e/a225dcf6-46a3-4cb9-9466-116b2fe5543e-podcast.mp3?ref=rss" length="20781312" type="audio/mpeg"/><itunes:duration>1270</itunes:duration><itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType><image><url>https://cdn.oyku.media/assets/1405/Courage-to-Reconnect.jpg</url><title>S1 E2: Why We Disconnect from Ourselves</title><link>https://www.loudspeaker.org/episodes/why-we-disconnect-from-ourselves-26531620?ref=rss</link></image><itunes:image href="https://cdn.oyku.media/assets/1405/Courage-to-Reconnect.jpg"/><googleplay:image href="https://cdn.oyku.media/assets/1405/Courage-to-Reconnect.jpg"/><itunes:explicit>no</itunes:explicit><googleplay:explicit>no</googleplay:explicit><podcast:person role="host" href="https://www.loudspeaker.org/people/sarah-monares" img="https://cdn.oyku.media/assets/1393/Sarah_Monares.jpg">Sarah Monares</podcast:person><podcast:transcript url="https://cdn.oyku.media/episodes/a225df01-b23c-4552-9045-6fc8705b2e79/transcript.vtt?ref=rss" type="text/vtt"/><podcast:alternateEnclosure type="application/x-mpegURL" height="1080" title="HLS"><podcast:source uri="https://op3.dev/e/cdn.oyku.media/video/a225df35-deb0-4e3b-8f10-890f273b9d8c/stream/hls/playlist.m3u8?ref=rss"/></podcast:alternateEnclosure><itunes:block>no</itunes:block><googleplay:block>no</googleplay:block><itunes:subtitle>None of us are born disconnected from ourselves. So how does it happen?...</itunes:subtitle></item><item><title>S1 E1: The Hidden Pattern Keeping You Stuck</title><itunes:title>The Hidden Pattern Keeping You Stuck</itunes:title><itunes:summary>Have you ever promised yourself you were going to stop overthinking, stop people-pleasing, stop seeking reassurance, or stop repeating the same relationship patterns, only to find yourself right back where you started?</itunes:summary><description>Have you ever promised yourself you were going to stop overthinking, stop people-pleasing, stop seeking reassurance, or stop repeating the same relationship patterns, only to find yourself right back where you started?</description><content:encoded><![CDATA[Have you ever promised yourself you were going to stop overthinking, stop people-pleasing, stop seeking reassurance, or stop repeating the same relationship patterns, only to find yourself right back where you started?

In this first episode of The Courage to Reconnect, Sarah Monares introduces The Disconnection Loop and explores the hidden pattern underneath many of our struggles. You'll learn why so many of the behaviors we judge ourselves for are actually attempts to protect connection and how disconnecting from ourselves often becomes a strategy for staying connected to others.

If you've ever wondered, "Why do I keep doing this?" this episode is for you.

Show Notes:

In this episode, Sarah introduces the core ideas behind The Courage to Reconnect and The Disconnection Loop.

Together, we'll explore:Why we repeat the same patterns, even when we know betterHow people-pleasing, overthinking, conflict avoidance, and reassurance-seeking often develop as ways to protect connectionThe cost of disconnecting from ourselvesThe hidden pattern underneath many relationship strugglesWhy awareness is important, but not enough to create lasting changeHow reconnection begins
Reflection Question:
What is one pattern in your life or relationships that keeps showing up, even though you've tried to change it? Connect with Sarah Monares:
https://sarahmonares.com
https://www.instagram.com/sarah_monares

If this episode resonated with you, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone who may need it too.]]></content:encoded><link>https://www.loudspeaker.org/episodes/hidden-pattern-keeping-you-stuck-25509692?ref=rss</link><dc:creator xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/">hello@loudspeaker.org</dc:creator><author>hello@loudspeaker.org</author><itunes:author>hello@loudspeaker.org</itunes:author><googleplay:author>hello@loudspeaker.org</googleplay:author><guid isPermaLink="false">a2165a20-9c40-4b2d-bcc2-5edcddc24617</guid><pubDate>Tue, 23 Jun 2026 12:00:00 -0600</pubDate><itunes:season>1</itunes:season><podcast:season>1</podcast:season><itunes:episode>1</itunes:episode><podcast:episode>1</podcast:episode><enclosure url="https://op3.dev/e/feeds.oyku.media/play/a2165a20-9c40-4b2d-bcc2-5edcddc24617/audio/a217e0ee-b86f-4804-b442-fa35ad478256/a217e0ee-b86f-4804-b442-fa35ad478256-podcast.mp3?ref=rss" length="17641291" type="audio/mpeg"/><itunes:duration>1063</itunes:duration><itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType><image><url>https://cdn.oyku.media/assets/1405/Courage-to-Reconnect.jpg</url><title>S1 E1: The Hidden Pattern Keeping You Stuck</title><link>https://www.loudspeaker.org/episodes/hidden-pattern-keeping-you-stuck-25509692?ref=rss</link></image><itunes:image href="https://cdn.oyku.media/assets/1405/Courage-to-Reconnect.jpg"/><googleplay:image href="https://cdn.oyku.media/assets/1405/Courage-to-Reconnect.jpg"/><itunes:explicit>no</itunes:explicit><googleplay:explicit>no</googleplay:explicit><podcast:person role="host" href="https://www.loudspeaker.org/people/sarah-monares" img="https://cdn.oyku.media/assets/1393/Sarah_Monares.jpg">Sarah Monares</podcast:person><podcast:transcript url="https://cdn.oyku.media/episodes/a2165a20-9c40-4b2d-bcc2-5edcddc24617/transcript.vtt?ref=rss" type="text/vtt"/><podcast:alternateEnclosure type="application/x-mpegURL" height="1080" title="HLS"><podcast:source uri="https://op3.dev/e/cdn.oyku.media/video/a217c092-83f3-4feb-ac9b-5bd1e6b0b8a6/stream/hls/playlist.m3u8?ref=rss"/></podcast:alternateEnclosure><itunes:block>no</itunes:block><googleplay:block>no</googleplay:block><itunes:subtitle>Have you ever promised yourself you were going to stop overthinking, stop people-pleasing, stop seeking reassurance, or stop repeating the same relationship patterns, only to find yourself right back where you started?...</itunes:subtitle></item><item><title>The Courage to Reconnect Trailer</title><itunes:title>The Courage to Reconnect Trailer</itunes:title><itunes:summary>Hosted by therapist, coach, and author Sarah Monares, this show explores the patterns that keep us stuck in anxiety, people-pleasing, codependency, self-doubt, conflict avoidance, and unhealthy relationship dynamics.</itunes:summary><description>Hosted by therapist, coach, and author Sarah Monares, this show explores the patterns that keep us stuck in anxiety, people-pleasing, codependency, self-doubt, conflict avoidance, and unhealthy relationship dynamics.</description><content:encoded><![CDATA[Hosted by therapist, coach, and author Sarah Monares, this show explores the patterns that keep us stuck in anxiety, people-pleasing, codependency, self-doubt, conflict avoidance, and unhealthy relationship dynamics.

Through honest conversations, personal stories, expert insights, and real-life experiences, we explore what happens when we disconnect from ourselves to stay connected to others, and how to break those patterns so we can experience deeper, healthier, more authentic relationships.

Whether you’re navigating relationship struggles, healing old wounds, learning to trust yourself, or trying to understand why you keep repeating the same patterns, you’re not alone here.

Because real connection starts with reconnecting to yourself. And when you find the courage to reconnect, it changes not only your relationship with yourself, but also the relationships that matter most.

How to tune in:

Tuesdays at 12pm Mountain Time / 7pm Western European Time: 
Streaming: 
https://www.loudspeaker.org
Loudspeaker mobile app for iPhone: 
https://apps.apple.com/us/app/loudspeaker-radio/id6479177522
Loudspeaker mobile app for Android: 
https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.nocofm.mobile
Watch on YouTube: 
https://www.youtube.com/@sarahmonares 

Wednesdays wherever podcasts are found:
Apple Podcasts: 
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-courage-to-reconnect/id1896934636
Spotify: 
https://open.spotify.com/show/033zv7ldHXjZ5FP0ExCxE7
Amazon Music: 
https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/1da54b62-5182-417d-a068-e197163b92fd Connect with Sarah Monares:
https://sarahmonares.com
https://www.instagram.com/sarah_monares

If this episode resonated with you, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone who may need it too.]]></content:encoded><link>https://www.loudspeaker.org/episodes/courage-to-reconnect-trailer-96746606?ref=rss</link><dc:creator xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/">hello@loudspeaker.org</dc:creator><author>hello@loudspeaker.org</author><itunes:author>hello@loudspeaker.org</itunes:author><googleplay:author>hello@loudspeaker.org</googleplay:author><guid isPermaLink="false">a2141571-234f-4f8e-8e4a-fc84c5ea42fb</guid><pubDate>Sun, 21 Jun 2026 13:49:30 -0600</pubDate><enclosure url="https://op3.dev/e/feeds.oyku.media/play/a2141571-234f-4f8e-8e4a-fc84c5ea42fb/audio/a21414b8-296b-4e01-8e53-cf1741e451c7/a21414b8-296b-4e01-8e53-cf1741e451c7-podcast.mp3?ref=rss" length="1415040" type="audio/mpeg"/><itunes:duration>60</itunes:duration><itunes:episodeType>trailer</itunes:episodeType><image><url>https://cdn.oyku.media/assets/1405/Courage-to-Reconnect.jpg</url><title>The Courage to Reconnect Trailer</title><link>https://www.loudspeaker.org/episodes/courage-to-reconnect-trailer-96746606?ref=rss</link></image><itunes:image href="https://cdn.oyku.media/assets/1405/Courage-to-Reconnect.jpg"/><googleplay:image href="https://cdn.oyku.media/assets/1405/Courage-to-Reconnect.jpg"/><itunes:explicit>no</itunes:explicit><googleplay:explicit>no</googleplay:explicit><podcast:person role="host" href="https://www.loudspeaker.org/people/sarah-monares" img="https://cdn.oyku.media/assets/1393/Sarah_Monares.jpg">Sarah Monares</podcast:person><podcast:alternateEnclosure type="application/x-mpegURL" height="1080" title="HLS"><podcast:source uri="https://op3.dev/e/cdn.oyku.media/video/a214c3bf-d3b7-4187-9dec-3f9254779eec/stream/hls/playlist.m3u8?ref=rss"/></podcast:alternateEnclosure><itunes:block>no</itunes:block><googleplay:block>no</googleplay:block><itunes:subtitle>Hosted by therapist, coach, and author Sarah Monares, this show explores the patterns that keep us stuck in anxiety, people-pleasing, codependency, self-doubt, conflict avoidance, and unhealthy relationship dynamics....</itunes:subtitle></item></channel></rss>
